Ear infections, pink eye, broken bones and a baby

Last week, well the beginning of the week had been fun, and on Wednesday is when the "fun" began. When I picked up the kids on Wednesday from daycare, it seemed to be a normal day. The night had been a little rough and looking back the past week the nights have been rough. Caysen had been waking up roughly 2-3 am and not wanting to go back to sleep. He would go back to sleep but only if you were holding him, and not craddling him, but holding him upright. Which is not the most comfortable for Mom. Once he had been asleep for about 45minutes, you could attempt to slowly lay down with him on your chest, but he would wake up 50% of the time, then you start over until about 5:30 where he wakes up for the day and wants a bottle. So I picked up the kids from daycare and Caysen was as happy as could be. Both of them didn't eat as much as normal, but it was only a day or two of that, so nothing to be concerned with. What was a little different was that Price had what seem to be sleepies in her eyes. I put her in the car and wiped her eyes with a tissue. The car ride home was 15minutes and when we got there her eyes were goopier then before. So I kept looking at it and when Craig got home he even mentioned it. I cleaned her eye with a cool cloth and we went to the park, just being at the park her eyes seemed to get puffy and red, but she wasn't rubbing. Wednesday night she went down fine, but woke up in the middle of the night with her eye closed shut from matting. I called the Dr. and took her to the doctor. I figured she had pink eye. She was acting fine, so didn't think much of it. To my surprise the doctor said she didn't have pink eye but had two severe ear infections. I was shocked! They gave me meds and then after talking with my babysitter, I started piecing things together, and it all made sense, but it also shed light that Caysen may have an ear infection as well. Of course it would have been easy to take both kids to the doctor, but I had no idea there would be an issue, and it would have made sense to set up an appointment for Caysen before leaving the doctor. but of course not me. I called two hours later when it dawned on me. So that afternoon I took Caysen in and of course he had one as well. I was so happy and so mad at myself at the same time. Since the kids hadn't been sleeping through the night I was happy because this could be the reason why and I wouldn't need to put much work in to getting them back to sleeping through the night. But at the same time I felt mad at myself because I felt like I was being a bad mom. Mothers should be able to be in tune with their child and one little change I should noticed. and I didn't. The great thing about that night was that I gave them meds and they slept almost through the night. I say almost because they both woke up around 4:30. Mainly Caysen woke up because he was hungry and he woke Price up. That was an improvement. The only bad thing about the meds was that it made Price very sick. The doctor prescribe Augmetin (sp?) and Caysen did fine on it, even with flavor Price was not having it. Not only did she get sick, and I mean she was throwing up two hours after the medicine. And to add to Price's issues she is TERRIBLE at taking medicine. You literally waste half the medicine when you give it to her. I feel like a bad parent then as well because the best way to get her to take the medicine with minimal spill is to let her start crying and since her mouth is open you can put it in.-cruel I know but you do what you gotta do.
So on Thursday I was playing doctor with the babies when I got a phone call from my brother. Its nice to hear from him, but I always get worried when I do hear from him, because we dont talk that often. The conversation didn't start off great when he asked when was the last time I talked to mom. This was about 7pm and I told him around 5 when she was headed to Uncle Churbby's house (its a family members house that is litterally falling apart and he is too old to take care of it, so my parents are trying to make it liveable again). Well my brother said he didn't have details yet, but he pulled up to the house and saw my mom on the concrete face down with blood everywhere. -needless to say I was freaking out. Well long story short my mom was closing up the house and her hands were full, she slipped on the door frame and tried to break her fall with the storm door, but it didn't hold and she feel down the concrete steps. She broke her nose (actually has to have surgery next Tuesday on it) and fractured her radial head in her arm. Of course if this had to happen to anyone my mom is the best person, she is such a trooper. I get my extremely high pain tolerance from her. But its been a week not and she is doing great. We are actually going up this weekend to visit them. My main goal is to help get some of their to do list done. taking down wallpaper, painting, staining a fence, etc.
Well what a week, really what a day. On top of everything going on that Thursday one of our good friends was being induced on Friday. So I was trying to get everything I could done for them. (long story short, they dont have a lot of help around here) Luckily Heather's hub was home with her so I didn't have to do too much. So on Friday I was taking my trips to the hospital, bringing breakfast and lunch to Jeremy and checking on Heather. I am proud to say that at 6:27 pm Brynley Nicole Davis was born. 7 lbs 1 oz, and 19 1/2 inches long. She was so precious.
What a perfect ending to a crazy week.

Girls day out

Last Monday Craig, Caysen and the F-I-L, traveled to Dallas for Caysen's helmet appointment. I took this day to spend some quality time with Price. The tough thing about having twins, and really more then one child close to the same age, you never seem to be able to give them individual attention, and when you do give them attention it always seems like you are favoring one of the other. Recently since Caysen has had his helmet and physical therapy appointements, it has seemed like he has gotten a lot of extra individual attention. Yes I know they are only 8 months, they probably dont realize they are getting the same amount of attention. Well my thinking is, if they dont notice now, it atleast gives us practice for the future, when they will notice.  I know it seems a little odd, how can you give a child more attention because of a helmet and physical therapy. With his helmet we spend a little extra time with him in the bath, scrubbing his head making sure it doesn't smeal, and let it sit a little longer, and we majority of the time put Price in her crib before Caysen because it takes the two of us to put the helmet on. And with physical therapy-yeah sure not everyone would call physical therapy fun, but Caysen is only 8 months and all they do is "play" yes its work, but he doesn't realize that. Also its typically an afternoon appointment, so the normal routine, since I usually have to take him on my own, I pick him up from daycare and leave Price there and once PT is over we go to visit Daddy, and hang out for a bit before picking her up.
So with all this extra attention I decided Monday would be a great day to just hang out with Price. Theres not a lot an 8 month old can do, so we went shopping (Target) where Price was so cute, a little embarassing, but I will take her make noises over her crying anyday. The past month or so Price has not only found her voice and continue to get higher and louder every day, but she notices that the bigger the room the more sound she needs to make, and Target was the perfect stage. I loved it, she scared a few workers, because they didn't think a little thing like that could make such a loud noise-I didn't know she could get that loud either. Price was such a "help" she loved either playing with my purse and everything in it-not so fun part, and liked holding everything I got from a shelf.
I know shopping isn't much of a girls day, but it just makes me so excited to see her grow up, so that when we do "girls days" we can go get massages, nails,etc. on top of shopping.
The rest of the day wasn't a bust at all. we went to chik fil a for breakfast, and spent a long time at the park playing on the swings, and slides. Although there isn't much we can do, we hung out at the house, took a nap together, and just played on the floor. It was so much fun.
It was so fun I think we may try and do it once a month or atleast once every other month, so I can do one month Price and one month Caysen.
Here's a few pictures from the day:

Price's shopping outfit

Enjoying the swing

Posing for the camera

Final photo before naptime

First family park trip

In the past few weeks, the weather has been great. I am so excited for fall-kind of. I love the 70 degree weather, sunny, with a little wind. I love seeing all the leaves change colors. The only thing I dont like is that it means winter is coming and I hate cold weather.
Anyway last week we took the kids to the park to swing after dinner. We knew at daycare they liked being outside in the swing and at home in our swing inside, but had no idea how much fun they would have. They loved us pushing them, and seem to relax. They were so cute and of course Caysen, my little thinker, has to be the one to analyze the chains, the seat, etc. Once it met his inspection he was the daredevil trying to pull himself the a standing position while swinging, leaning to oneside and the other. It was very comical. Price on the other hand enjoyed just going really high and loved leaning back letting the wind blow through her hair. She doesn't have a lot of it but she was relaxing. But of course as soon as she saw her brother getting a little crazy she decided to swing with no hands, using her little belly has a cushion.

Times like these I really cant wait till we move and are able to get a playset in our backyard.
Its funny how we said we wouldn't be that family to have the "junk" in the backyard if the neighborhood has a park, but we love being outside so much, that we would never get anything done if we had to go to the park everytime to play. In the next few weeks we are going to go to the pumpking patch and I am so excited to see what they think of that. I am also super excited to carve pumpkins, and fix pumpkin seeds-they are my favorite. The only thing I am having a hard time with is I have no idea what the kids should be for Halloween. The reason I struggle with it is because Craig grew up not "celebrating" Halloween, and his idea of trick 'o treating was his parents allowed him to dress up like a super hero and they would let him go from room to room in his own house. -not exactly the norm. So he really isnt all about costumes, etc. This year because they will only be 9 months they dont know much about it and I just want to get them dressed up for pictures, and the idea of them trick 'o treating. I am sure a lot has changed since I was a kid.

Here a few photos of the park.

cont'd and clarification of hubby bashing

My last post I had to vent a little about the hubs. All I said I did feel but I want to clarify that the biggest thing I have a hard time with now is not, not getting help once the kids were born. Dont get me wrong at the time it sucked, thats when having two babies didn't make it easy. You had lots of women who looked at me like I was the meanest women in the world because I put my kids on a schedule so early, I didn't let them "be kids". WRONG! when you have two and you are on your own, if you let them "be kids" (which that comment is just plain stupid because they are babies they need to be molded-personally opinion) I would Never get any sleep, or be able to do anything. Which most women who have had a baby know that getting a decent amount of sleep early on is hard to do let alone get anything else accomplished.
But I look back now and although I wish things would have been different and I would have had a little more help, I more feel sorry for Craig because he missed out, although it can be a litle boring at first since the babies dont do a whole lot, but I got to enjoy their first smile-which was at me. The first of everything.
What I wish I could change more then anything else is the pregnancy. And I did mention how it bugged me on my last post, but to make matters worse Friday night we went out to watch a friend's band and there were so many pregnant friends there that it was almost an overload. It just really got to me to see everyones husband being so loving to their wives belly's, you got the feeling that they were almost a little jealous that they weren't the ones caring the baby, because of the closeness, not the hormonal changes.
I think what makes it so hard to see, is that I really feel in my heart that if we got pregnant again Craig would be different he would be a little more "loving to the belly", which brings me to tears knowing there isn't another time-unless the .0001% chance we have the miracle baby happens.
Anyway just wanted to throw this clarification out there.
I am so excited about Monday. Craig and Caysen and my FIL are headed to Dallas for Caysen's helmet appointment, which leaves Price and I, and since I got cleared to lift my babies, but carful not to over do it, I am not taking her to daycare and we are having a girls day filled with shopping, parks, and getting my toes done. Days like tomorrow I cant wait till she gets a little older, so we can add massages to the list.

Warning-Hub bashing

I am still on bedrest so I have plenty of time to watch "trash tv", which is what is prompting me to write this.
Most women are busy during the day so they dont have the "luxury" to watch Maury, but I do. If you haven't watched in a long time, it has basically turned into the "Are you my daddy show". Alot of these men claim they are not the dad, talk a big game, etc. And the few that are the dad's half of them man up, want to be apart of the kids life. Its very sweet to realize they want to take responsiblity. But what strikes a nerve for me is that there are 18yr old BOYS that are wanting to be apart of a newborns life, be there to help with changing, feeding. the works. Immediately I get a little mad because I had two babies and a very capable husband that did NOTHING. I dont want to sound unappreciative of my husband because he does do alot, but when I was pregnant I didn't get any support. The most support I got was that he would come to every doctor appointment-which shocked me, and if I asked him to get something for me or help me he would, and instead of complaining he would just do it. I am very independent so most of the time it didn't bother me, the other thing he would do is always hit the handicap doors at work, when I would visit him so I didn't have to open the doors. and that actually bothered me because it made me feel helpless. But I never got foot rubs, back massages, anything. The only thing that he wanted to do was help with late night cravings-which I didn't have. When he realized that I didn't have sonic, mcdonalds, wendy cravings he was a little disappointed.
Once the kids were born he helped a lot at the hospital when he was there-my choice, I wanted him to work while I was in the hospital if he wanted to so that he could spend more time once the kids were home. The way he acted in the hospital I felt very encouraged he would be an awesome dad-never doubted it. But once I got home, he basically stopped and while he went to work, so did I taking care of the kids. Dont get me wrong I did have the mentality that since he has to go to work every day I would do as much as I could. In that thought I assumed, especially after the hospital, he would WANT to help me-wrong.
I am happy to report that now, he likes to help because the kids are doing more things and he can actually play with them, and every time I see him with the kids it makes me fill with joy.
At times I wonder why I got a hubby that suffered from BHS (broken husband syndrome-dont help with the kids) but I quickly realized that a lot of times you follow in your father's footsteps. Well his dad was rarely involved with him growing up, and it is very aparent he doesn't know what to do-but thats a different story.
So that is why I get so mad that I see these kids on TV that have nothing, that aren't married, that didn't plan on having kids, stepping up and enjoying being apart of everything.
I also have friends who have very involved hubby's and I have to say I am not a jealous person, but it does make me a little jealous.
ok done with the hubby bashing.

Prayer, Patience, Persistence

I took a nice little break, to kind of let things fall as they may. And I am proud to report that things are going good.
My last post I had a large list of things to do and I wish I could say they are all done-but they aren't! Anyone who knows me, knows I make lists, and a major planner and organizer, so to not have a list done is a little tough to swallow,so I wont talk about that-haha.
Well the last week I really had to get my emotions in check and focus on the now and what I can do today. My biggest hurdle was and I guess technically still is, the decision on embryos. Yes I am still working on that post, its hard to get much out because of the emotions, every time I start to think about it I just cry (I blame it on the hormones still).
Ok before I explain, let me give you a little bit of background as to why I have seen more then one doctor. Most women know that your Ob is typically the same doctor that you see while you are pregnant and if you are lucky deliver your baby and who you go to for all your "woman" appointments. So a month ago I had my yearly appointment with doctor who saw me through pregnancy and delivered the twins. At my post delivery appointment of course the doctor wants you to get on a birth control, and when you are breastfeeding there are very few options, well because of my infertility the chances of us getting pregnant without assistance is zero. Most women have heard stories of ladies who have said the same thing, and then they turn up pregnant. Which in the back of my mind I wish that could happen to us, but Craig and I both agreed that if we got pregnant it was indeed a miracle and would love it. So at my post delivery appointment we declined anything. Of course he again mentioned it at this recent appointment, and gave me the IUD option. If any of you ladies out there have had any experience with these please let me know. It sounds like a great idea. What concerned me is that I have PCOS, which the doctor did say he thought my right side seemed a little enlarged. Because of the IUD not messing with any hormones, I wasn't sure if it would have any side effects dealing with my PCOS, so I was already thinking I needed to talk to my fertility doctor, another Ob. And when I asked if I should continue my metformin (I was on this while pregnant and prior to the transfer to help my PCOS)he recommended I go see Dr. B.-fertility doctor.
Ok so I scheduled an appointment with Dr. B. and before I even got off the phone to make the appointment I was a little frustrated. The nurse there, I love, MK has been so sweet and when I called to schedule she was the one I talked to and asked me what was going on. (The reason she asked this was because not even three weeks earlier I had called her to get embryo research information/direction) I explained I was calling about just needing a check up because I was experiencing pain, which I and my other doctor thought could be PCOS and I wanted to know if I could get back on my metformin. Immediately she said,"why did you get off of it?"-A question like that makes you realized you should have never been off of it. My response to her was I didn't know I could be on it while breast feeding.
MK, " Of course dear it helps increase milk supply"
I told her thank you and got off the phone. I was so upset with myself. I stopped breastfeeding at 5 months, because I ran out, and even before then I never really was able to breastfeed 100%, but I would have loved help.
This information just added to all the emotions.-I think it was the breaking point
Over the weekend I decided to just really focus on what I could control, pray ALOT, and just let things happen.
So Monday was my appointment with Dr. B. everything checked out fine, I did have some cysts and they had no problem with the metformin. During this conversation they explained they prefer I try a birth control pill and if ok to stay on that because it will help with hormones and I wont have to be on a higher dose of metformin. He is ok with the IUD just not as the first option.
We started discussing the embryos because MK wanted to see if I had any updates on it. I told her it was very hard to find anything.
*As of right now Craig and I do not want anymore children therefore we need to pay 45 bucks a month for storage, or dispose of them. The option we have selected is to donate them to research-again my embryo posts has the details*
MK and Dr. B both said to suck it up if we can and pay the storage fees for atleast another 6 months before making a final decisions, because they have seen where people make a decision and regret it, and its because they make a decision to soon after their babies are born.
With this discussion I have decided to keep paying the storage fees for another 6 months and re-evaluate. So although the decision is made right now, I still have to tell Craig, and then I have to readdress it in 6 months.
Check #1 off on my "to-do" list.
I also found a day where all I wanted to do was sit around and file bills, so that took care of another tasks.
After Monday and my appointment I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders which was great and cleared my head. I still need to file insurance claim forms, but what made my day yesterday was I received an 800 check in the mail from the hospital, refunding me part of my money for my surgery. Not sure if I posted this or not, but August was a very tough month, physically, emotionally and financially. Long story short we paid out over $8,000 for medical expenses, in less then one month.
I feel that things are looking up and everything happens for a reason.

we couldn't help but buy this shirt it reads " dude, your girl friend keeps checking me out"

This one was perfect for Price, " what part of princess dont you understand"

Have you ever had so much on your mind that you dont know where to begin? Well thats how I feel right now, so I am not sure where this post will lead or not lead.
Its been three weeks now since I have had surgery and have been on bedrest. I never though it would be this hard to recover from a surgery NOT because of the physical aspect, but its been difficult because its a mental battle. What I mean by that is, that physically I feel pretty good, although today I hurt a little because of pushing it so hard the past few days, but I am not able drive (I have a little bit) do many chores, and yes its crazy but I love to vaccumm, and cant do anything. Or I should say I am not suppose to do anything, physically I feel fine, but I have to restrain myself to not lifting the kids, cleaning, being on my feet for long, no shopping, etc. I am sure to some it sounds fine, but I cant sit still and as one of my friends said, if you are a "thinker" alone time is not good for you. And I never thought of myself as a thinker but being alone really makes you think.
Well going into this surgery I was in the mindset that I would get so much stuff done, and most of them didn't require any physical activity except picking up a phone, filing, and all the none physically stressful things. What I didn't think about was the mental/emotional stress it would put on me. To try and make you understand... Have you ever felt like you were in the mood to get so much stuff done, but couldn't because you couldn't physically do it or you are busy at work, running errands, etc? Well take that feeling, then have you ever felt like you have so much stuff to do, but dont want to do it? Thats how I feel. I want to clean the house top to bottom, and cant and have to do so many emotional/mental things that I dont even want to think about. I know I sound crazy 1. because I want to clean the house and 2 because how hard can doing paperwork stuff be. well I cant justify why I want clean the house, but not wanting to do paperwork, here is my to do list. hopefully in the next couple posts I can explain why they are so tough.
1. Figure out what to do with our 4 frozen embryos
2. Complete insurance claims forms for my surgery and Caysen's helmet
3. Organize all medical bills, expenses, including the receipts for our numerous trips down to Dallas for Caysen's appointments
4. File all bills that have been paid since the beginning of the year
5. Get all receipts calculated and orgainzied
6. Work on 2011 budget
7. Help with job hunting
8. Organize/caption photos online

I know a lot of these dont seem tough, but if they aren't emotionally taxing they are time consuming. The one thing I would LIKE to do is work on my scrapbooks, but that really shouldn't be done until I have my photos organized.

Ok that is everything I have going on, well on my to do list. There are other things going on that just makes thinking clearly hard. (maybe another post)

Before bedtime bottles and after baths. I dont usually put them in matching/coordinating clothes but when it comes to PJ's I love to. these say "current family favorite"

The twins playing with Daddy on the floor before bathtime.