My last post I had a large list of things to do and I wish I could say they are all done-but they aren't! Anyone who knows me, knows I make lists, and a major planner and organizer, so to not have a list done is a little tough to swallow,so I wont talk about that-haha.
Well the last week I really had to get my emotions in check and focus on the now and what I can do today. My biggest hurdle was and I guess technically still is, the decision on embryos. Yes I am still working on that post, its hard to get much out because of the emotions, every time I start to think about it I just cry (I blame it on the hormones still).
Ok before I explain, let me give you a little bit of background as to why I have seen more then one doctor. Most women know that your Ob is typically the same doctor that you see while you are pregnant and if you are lucky deliver your baby and who you go to for all your "woman" appointments. So a month ago I had my yearly appointment with doctor who saw me through pregnancy and delivered the twins. At my post delivery appointment of course the doctor wants you to get on a birth control, and when you are breastfeeding there are very few options, well because of my infertility the chances of us getting pregnant without assistance is zero. Most women have heard stories of ladies who have said the same thing, and then they turn up pregnant. Which in the back of my mind I wish that could happen to us, but Craig and I both agreed that if we got pregnant it was indeed a miracle and would love it. So at my post delivery appointment we declined anything. Of course he again mentioned it at this recent appointment, and gave me the IUD option. If any of you ladies out there have had any experience with these please let me know. It sounds like a great idea. What concerned me is that I have PCOS, which the doctor did say he thought my right side seemed a little enlarged. Because of the IUD not messing with any hormones, I wasn't sure if it would have any side effects dealing with my PCOS, so I was already thinking I needed to talk to my fertility doctor, another Ob. And when I asked if I should continue my metformin (I was on this while pregnant and prior to the transfer to help my PCOS)he recommended I go see Dr. B.-fertility doctor.
Ok so I scheduled an appointment with Dr. B. and before I even got off the phone to make the appointment I was a little frustrated. The nurse there, I love, MK has been so sweet and when I called to schedule she was the one I talked to and asked me what was going on. (The reason she asked this was because not even three weeks earlier I had called her to get embryo research information/direction) I explained I was calling about just needing a check up because I was experiencing pain, which I and my other doctor thought could be PCOS and I wanted to know if I could get back on my metformin. Immediately she said,"why did you get off of it?"-A question like that makes you realized you should have never been off of it. My response to her was I didn't know I could be on it while breast feeding.
MK, " Of course dear it helps increase milk supply"
I told her thank you and got off the phone. I was so upset with myself. I stopped breastfeeding at 5 months, because I ran out, and even before then I never really was able to breastfeed 100%, but I would have loved help.
This information just added to all the emotions.-I think it was the breaking point
Over the weekend I decided to just really focus on what I could control, pray ALOT, and just let things happen.
So Monday was my appointment with Dr. B. everything checked out fine, I did have some cysts and they had no problem with the metformin. During this conversation they explained they prefer I try a birth control pill and if ok to stay on that because it will help with hormones and I wont have to be on a higher dose of metformin. He is ok with the IUD just not as the first option.
We started discussing the embryos because MK wanted to see if I had any updates on it. I told her it was very hard to find anything.
*As of right now Craig and I do not want anymore children therefore we need to pay 45 bucks a month for storage, or dispose of them. The option we have selected is to donate them to research-again my embryo posts has the details*
MK and Dr. B both said to suck it up if we can and pay the storage fees for atleast another 6 months before making a final decisions, because they have seen where people make a decision and regret it, and its because they make a decision to soon after their babies are born.
With this discussion I have decided to keep paying the storage fees for another 6 months and re-evaluate. So although the decision is made right now, I still have to tell Craig, and then I have to readdress it in 6 months.
Check #1 off on my "to-do" list.
I also found a day where all I wanted to do was sit around and file bills, so that took care of another tasks.
After Monday and my appointment I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders which was great and cleared my head. I still need to file insurance claim forms, but what made my day yesterday was I received an 800 check in the mail from the hospital, refunding me part of my money for my surgery. Not sure if I posted this or not, but August was a very tough month, physically, emotionally and financially. Long story short we paid out over $8,000 for medical expenses, in less then one month.
I feel that things are looking up and everything happens for a reason.
we couldn't help but buy this shirt it reads " dude, your girl friend keeps checking me out"
This one was perfect for Price, " what part of princess dont you understand"
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