Its been three weeks now since I have had surgery and have been on bedrest. I never though it would be this hard to recover from a surgery NOT because of the physical aspect, but its been difficult because its a mental battle. What I mean by that is, that physically I feel pretty good, although today I hurt a little because of pushing it so hard the past few days, but I am not able drive (I have a little bit) do many chores, and yes its crazy but I love to vaccumm, and cant do anything. Or I should say I am not suppose to do anything, physically I feel fine, but I have to restrain myself to not lifting the kids, cleaning, being on my feet for long, no shopping, etc. I am sure to some it sounds fine, but I cant sit still and as one of my friends said, if you are a "thinker" alone time is not good for you. And I never thought of myself as a thinker but being alone really makes you think.
Well going into this surgery I was in the mindset that I would get so much stuff done, and most of them didn't require any physical activity except picking up a phone, filing, and all the none physically stressful things. What I didn't think about was the mental/emotional stress it would put on me. To try and make you understand... Have you ever felt like you were in the mood to get so much stuff done, but couldn't because you couldn't physically do it or you are busy at work, running errands, etc? Well take that feeling, then have you ever felt like you have so much stuff to do, but dont want to do it? Thats how I feel. I want to clean the house top to bottom, and cant and have to do so many emotional/mental things that I dont even want to think about. I know I sound crazy 1. because I want to clean the house and 2 because how hard can doing paperwork stuff be. well I cant justify why I want clean the house, but not wanting to do paperwork, here is my to do list. hopefully in the next couple posts I can explain why they are so tough.
1. Figure out what to do with our 4 frozen embryos
2. Complete insurance claims forms for my surgery and Caysen's helmet
3. Organize all medical bills, expenses, including the receipts for our numerous trips down to Dallas for Caysen's appointments
4. File all bills that have been paid since the beginning of the year
5. Get all receipts calculated and orgainzied
6. Work on 2011 budget
7. Help with job hunting
8. Organize/caption photos online
I know a lot of these dont seem tough, but if they aren't emotionally taxing they are time consuming. The one thing I would LIKE to do is work on my scrapbooks, but that really shouldn't be done until I have my photos organized.
Ok that is everything I have going on, well on my to do list. There are other things going on that just makes thinking clearly hard. (maybe another post)
Before bedtime bottles and after baths. I dont usually put them in matching/coordinating clothes but when it comes to PJ's I love to. these say "current family favorite"
The twins playing with Daddy on the floor before bathtime.
Hang in there! The best gift you can give yourself and your family is the time to recover. Sure there are always things we COULD be doing, but right now you need to take time for you. You had quite the major surgery and it is hard to get stuff done when you hurt and when your list is too long. Try to do just 1-2 things/week and hopefully they won't seem so overwhelming :)
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